04/13/12

Insects and other foods the trout should be eating:
Hatching:
1.    Blue-winged Olives and Little BWOs
2.    Blue Quills
3.    Cinnamon Caddis (Mostly Abrams Creek)
4.    Little Short Horned Sedges
5.    Eastern Green Drakes (Abrams Creek)
6.    Hendricksons & Red Quills
7.    American March Browns

Most available/ Near hatching and/or other types of available food:
8.    Sculpin, Minnows (Streamers)

Excuse Checklist

Conditions for catching trout on the fly for this coming weekend are excellent. The streams
levels and rates of flow are perfect. The days will be warm and pleasant, not too hot and not to
cool. Saturday's high in Gatlinburg should be about 75 degrees with a low down to only 48.
Sunday will be even warmer.

The water temperature will be smack in the middle of the "preferred" range according to the
guys that write books about fly fishing and copy each other on things like that. According to
them, it will be perfect.

It is Spring and aquatic insects are hatching. It is April and smack in the middle of the "quote"
best time to fish. There's no rain in the forecast.

Now, considering all the fishing should be quote "excellent", those anglers than don't catch a
bunch of trout are certainly going to need some help explaining why they didn't during the time
the "fishing was excellent". How could this possibly happen if fishing was "excellent"?
It's
because the only thing that makes fishing "excellent, good, average, or poor" is
fishermen and fisherwomen
. Maybe that means the fish are bitting. Well, on second
thought, that doesn't make much sense either since the fish "bite" whenever there's something
for them to eat.

According to the encyclopedia Wikipedia,
"fishing" is the activity of trying to catch fish. If
it's an activity, it seems that whoever is preforming the activity would have something to do with
how "good" is was. For example, my four year old granddaughter probably wouldn't call the
fishing "good" if she didn't catch anything and I seriously doubt if she would catch anything. Of
course, someone may help her catch a trout and if that happened, her success wouldn't be
due to the "good" fishing. It would be because the someone that helped her was good at
fishing.

There's really no such thing as the "fishing is excellent". There is such a thing as
fishermen and fisherwomen doing an excellent job of catching fish, but not such a thing as "the
fishing is excellent".

Anyway, if you're dense enough to buy the "fishing is good" line, you better be able to explain
to you buddies why you didn't catch one every few minutes in the event you fail to do that.  
You should read on and memorise the following list of excuses for not catching trout. If you are
smart enough to laugh at the ones that are dense enough to make such stupid statements,
then you will be able to enjoy fishing and accept the fact
it's you that controls how good or
how bad the fishing is
. You won't need the excuses.

Top Ten Excuses for not catching lots of trout in the Smokies when the "Fishing is
Excellent":

1. I fished behind someone all day long. I thought they would give up and leave but they never
did. They stayed right in front of me from daylight to dark.

2. There was lots of traffic on Little River Road. Instead of fishing out of the bed of my pick up
truck, I should have got out and waded. Course I would have had to take my beer with me.

3. I fished a Neversink "
Caddis" during a Yellow "Stonefly" hatch.

4. It was cool in the early morning, so I fished near the rocks along the banks all day thinking
they would warm the water. My twelve year old son didn't tell me the rocks were the same
temperature as the water even though he is the only one of us that got far enough in school to
take a science class.  

5. I read the strategy suggested by a local fly shop that said if a dry fly didn't work,  I should
fish a nymph. They didn't tell me what to do if neither one worked. Next time I'll bring my Spey
Rod.

6. I was completely out of Green Weenies.

7. I stayed at a campsite on Deep Creek, slipped and fell in deep ....in a pile of something slick
and before I could get up, a horse stepped on my leg and broke it.

8. I wore a new pair of Simms Rubber sole boots, slipped and broke both legs.

9. After fishing all day without the first strike, I spotted the problem - an
otter. It had obviously
eaten every trout in the stream I was fishing.

10. I forgot to count the number of cows standing in the middle of downtown Townsend.
Copyright 2012 James Marsh